


Joker Issue 1# - Paging Doctor Joker.

by TheYuriHime



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Kidnapping, Misgendering, Murder, SRS / Surgery, Trans Female Character, Transfem!Joker, Violence against a trans woman (who is the villain)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27026515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYuriHime/pseuds/TheYuriHime
Summary: Joker has been kidnapping hospital staff from around Gotham city, there doesn't seem to be a connection between the kidnapped staff. What is the Clown Princess of Crime up to this time?[Please read notes first!]
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	Joker Issue 1# - Paging Doctor Joker.

**Author's Note:**

> Allow me to preface this by saying that I in no way advocate for any negative stereotypes here. I am a trans woman with a fondness for Joker as a fictional character and villain. The lack of LGBTQA+ positive media is a serious problem and even if things get better it'll take a lot more effort for LGBTQA+ characters to become so normalized that there won't be a problem making them a villain or explicitly maliciously evil. 
> 
> I know that Trans people have been portrayed as the butt of the joke or straight up malicious in a lot of media and various harmful stereotypes attached to it. The pick-up in the bar, the deranged serial killer, and so on. I am by no means trying to say that I agree with these takes by writing this fiction. But just because someone is LGBTQA+ doesn't make them a good person, nor should you attack them on the fact that they do belong to that community.
> 
> I wanted to play with the various Joker origin stories that often have the same narrative to them: 'All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy.' I took a spin on this and made the Joker a Trans woman who went through the experience of trying to live in a society that does not accept her, stacking problem after problem against her till she snaps and becomes the Joker. How the various problems Trans people face such as: healthcare, familial and romantic relationship problems, not being able to find work/getting fired, losing your home, sexual assault, and murder- can create a monster that doesn't just lay down and take it. 
> 
> I am not saying that Joker is in the right for doing what she does, I am not saying that she's in the wrong either as the entire point of Joker's character regardless of which take we're talking about is that it's a person who was driven to the brink and snapped. I simply wished to explore a different narrative that may come off as distasteful to some but is a reality for a lot of people. 
> 
> The joker I portrayed is just like the others in comics, video games, cartoons, and movies. A murdering psychopath with a penchant for humor and gags, everything circus or clown-themed. The only thing that changes is her Origin story- she still wants Batman dead, she still wants to cause mayhem and chaos while giving people a good laugh. Her being Trans is part of the character as she stopped caring about the law and the people around her and takes what she wants, but it does not define her. She remains the Joker with the same twisted humor and mentality. 
> 
> Batman similarly cares not about Joker being Trans, only about stopping her because she's a criminal. Batman as an ally of justice does not attack or harm Joker because of her identity but simply because she's a psychopath and a danger to society. 
> 
> If this bothers you, please spare yourself and don't read the fiction. There is plenty of positive LGBTQA+ media out there, I simply wanted to indulge in a darker take. I hope that one day Trans and Queer folk are so normalized in society and in media that we don't have to feel upset anymore about how we are portrayed. That it's alright to have an LGBTQA+ villain who is a villain not because they're queer but because they're evil- for all those out there who like villains, myself included. 
> 
> [This chapter contains: Murder, Mentions of SRS/Surgery, Various genital related jokes, misgendering, and violence against a trans woman.] 
> 
> Beta: Erawebuilt.
> 
> Thank you very much for looking over my terrible English. And for reading through this slog.

“Please, Doctor, hurry! The patient that was just brought in has weak vitals!” 

The nurse mentioned Something about a chemical leak with noxious fumes, ushering forth the doctor. The sole inhabitant in the building at the time had already been brought in with haste. The team of medical professionals stood ready to help. An aging man snapped his gloves on and adjusted his mask as two nurses pushed open the doors to the procedure room--only to find it desolate of anyone else. Just a stretcher with a white sheet draped over the patient’s body.    
  
The doctor flinched, then removed the sheet in one fell swoop. “Is this some kind of joke?” 

The answer was yes. 

Paint streaked the patient’s body, clad in green and purple stained overalls belonging to some local company. A clownish rendition of a big smile was painted on his face in red and white. There was only one villain in Gotham possessing a style like this--

“JOKER!”

As the doctor called out, a bat struck him on the back of the head, sending him tumbling to the ground. 

“TADA!” 

A moment of silence. 

“Harley, you hit him too hard! Now look what you’ve done. I said PUNCHline, not BATline. Oh, although, I would love to have one of those! Hahahahaha!” 

The nurses cowered against the nearby wall as the purple-clad Clown Princess of Crime tapped her cane against the ground and held it up high with a beaming smile. “Don’t worry! I’m just borrowing him, along with everything else in the room--including you.” The last of her words turned dark and twisted. Following a loud sigh and shrug, she continued, “Except for the body, I never like to make a joke twice you know. Isn’t that right, Harley?”

The harlequin popped out from the shadows, brandishing an aluminum bat, painted to resemble a wiffle bat and emblazoned with a ‘BONK.’ “That’s right, Missus J! You’re a downright joke machine!”

Beaming as proudly as ever, Joker cleared her throat and brushed off her suit at the praise. She beckoned towards herself as if to demand more and more praise, but then swooped her hand up quickly to slap over Harley’s opening mouth. “Oh my, looks like we’re running out of time! ALRIGHT BOYS! MOVE ‘EM OUT!” 

Dozens of goons entered through another door, some attired as paramedics in an overt clue to Joker’s entrance and exit strategies. Grabbing equipment, the unconscious doctor, and the nurses, they hauled off each to the escape vehicle.   
  
“Harley, my dear, would you be so kind?” Joker gestured her cane to the corpse lying on the table. Harley approached to hold up his hands, and Joker pulled away the rest of the white cloth to reveal a jack-in-the-box, also colored in her trademark purple and green. She turned the box exactly three times before putting it in the hands of the dead man, binding both together with a purple band. “Shall we?” 

Joker held out her arm, and Harley threw herself against the clown, winding her arms around Joker’s waist as she chirped, “ “Oh, Missus J!”

Security burst into the door just in time to see the retreating figures.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” 

One step into the room, and the jack-in-the-box began playing its associated tune. The melody grew increasingly distorted, twisting until the final note struck and the box popped open to reveal a Joker puppet clutching a stick of lit dynamite. The resulting explosive set the entire city ablaze with activity.

And a signal lit up in the night sky.

\- - -   
  
“Commissioner.”

A thud, and a darkly clad figure landed on the roof of the police headquarters. An aged, greying man turned his head at the noise, his hands tucked deep into his trenchcoat. 

“Batman,” he said, an equally to-the-point greeting. “There have been reports from all over Gotham. Medical personnel have been kidnapped, and not just from the hospital, but even those at home or on their way with an ambulance… Joker is behind it all.”

Batman’s face revealed little expression, but a contemplative, low hum escaped him. “Why would Joker kidnap medical personnel? Do we know who is missing?”

Gordon shook his head, tired. “We’re still piecing together evidence. The problem is Joker left a lot of traps in her wake, making it difficult to investigate the crime scenes. The operation room in the hospital got blown to smithereens with an explosive! We know for certain she made off with some nurses, surgical equipment, and a doctor by the name of Steven Hunt. We also found an abandoned ambulance some miles away from Old Gotham.”

Turning around, Gordon gazed off into the night sky, watching police sirens flash in the distance. 

“That’s all I need to know. Have your men search around there, but tell them not to engage with Joker. She’s far too unpredictable and will have prepared for intruders.”

Gordon sighed, lowering his head. Why did it always end up like this? Relying on Batman in this fashion. But he was right, and there was nothing Gordon could say about it. “Fine, I’ll have the boys look around downtown.” Looking back, he found himself alone--again. “Wish he’d say goodbye for once.”

\- - -   
  
“What does the boss want with those doctors anyhow? She didn’t look sick to me.” 

Two goons, dressed like clowns, stood by and discussed the situation. One motioned with a pistol, and the other rested an SMG on his shoulder. 

“Of course the boss isn’t sick. Maybe she’s just playing around and wants to play doctor for once.”

“I wouldn’t let her treat me.”

The pistol-holding one smirked. “I would.” 

In a panic, the other waved his hand. “Are you crazy shut up! If Harley hears you say that, she’ll have your head. You know Harley and Joker are a thing.”

He pulled up his shoulders and turned away. “Pfeh she’s not around, besides what’s the worst that could happ-”

His words cut off as the doors swung open and knocked him to the floor, cussing and whining as he covered his face with both hands. More goons, all dressed similarly and carrying different kinds of firearms, filed outside and began pacing around the area. At the end of the line was Harley dressed in a Halloween nurse dress, all pink and proper--save for the odd wilted flower attached to her chest. Holding up a notepad in one hand and her bat in the other, she cleared her throat.

“Aaaattention bozos! Missus J is currently in the operating room and wishes not to be disturbed. So shoot on sight any pigs you see! OH, AND ESPECIALLY ANY FLYING RODENTS! Missus J hates those! That’s all.”

A faint voice could be heard shouting from inside. While no words were discernible for the goons, Harley appeared to understand it and visibly lit up as she turned around, closing the door behind her. “COMING PUDDIN’!”

The goon still squirming on the ground was mocked by his mates who passed him by to their designated locations, each with a smirk on their face. “Idiot.”

“So, Joker’s in the operation room, wouldn’t want to be one of her patients for real.”

”Are you sure she’s not sick?”

”Told you she looks as healthy as always. I’m sure she’s just going to cut up one of those doctors for the fun of it.”

”Not really her style, is it?”

”Maybe she’s branching out, look how should I know? Do I look like a fucking clown.”

“Don’t answer that…” 

\- - -

“Harleen there you are, wouldn’t want you to miss it all!” Joker smiled brightly as she stood before the harlequin clad in a purple hospital gown decorated with green painted smiles and a playing card’s joker. 

“Sorry, Puddin’, I had to make sure those bozos did their job properly! Wouldn’t want anything to go wrong.”

“That’s my girl! Now. before we start, did you make sure to prepare the basement like I told you?” 

With a ditzy smile, Harley raised both hands, swaying the objects she held back and forth. “Of course! Everything is prepared just the way you wanted it.”

“EXCELLENT! Now let’s go put a smile on my second mouth. Hahaha!” Joker took the lead followed by Harley who shamelessly tilted her head to the side to have a proper look at the gown’s open back. “Sweets.”

”Yes, Puddin’?”

”My eyes are up here.”

”I know.”

”Harley.”

”Yes, Puddin’?”

”The door.”

”What’s that no--” 

Harley walked right into the door and hunched over as she placed both hands against her forehead, whimpering softly, all to the blank stare of Joker. 

“Are you sure you used to be a doctor? You don’t seem all that bright to me!”

”I think I forgot… Ouchie.” 

Joker leaned in, brushing aside Harley’s hands so she could gently pat her forehead. “Pain, pain, fly away!” And with the hand motion of throwing the “pain” away, she tossed the door open, smiling brightly, and strode into a room full of confused people all wearing surgical gowns and purple collars around their necks.

“Good evening, people who have no social life and studied way too much. I have brought you all here for a singular purpose! SURGERY!” Throwing her hands up into the air, she awaited a round of applause, but when nothing happened, she furrowed a brow, looking back at Harley. “I was expecting more excitement from these people. I mean, it’s not every day you get to operate on ME of all people!”

“Want me to make them squeal, Missus J?” Harley asked, taking a step forward and tapping the bat against her shoulder blade. The captives inched backward nervously. 

“No matter, no matter! So long as my baby cheers for me, it’s all good.” 

Harley perked up, looking as bright as ever, while Joker continued her explanation, making her way over to the operating table set up in the center of the room. She pulled herself up in one go, and, legs crossed, she leaned back on her arms as if resting on a beach towel. “Now here’s the deal! You give me the surgery I need, and I let you all go, no harm done. You mess up one single muscle, and I will turn your head into a fountain!” 

No one in the room dared to ask what that entailed and instead remained silent--save for Doctor Hunt who spoke out: “And what kind of surgery do you exactly want us to perform?” 

Joker sat up straight with an impressed look on her face, pointing at the man. “You know that’s a very good question! Now come a little closer, all of you.” As the captives hesitantly moved closer, Joker spread her legs slightly and tugged up her surgical gown. “See, I have this snake here that’s been getting reaaaal annoying. I want you to take it away so I can smile from both ends, hahaha!” 

“Joker’s a man?” one of the women exclaimed in confusion. She didn’t last long as Harley lashed out so fast no one could respond. The woman fell to the ground, and with a few more swings, her body ceased even quivering, and Harley’s once pristine pink gown was now stained with blood. Everyone else in the room recoiled in visible disgust and terror.

“Anyone else feel like insulting my Puddin’? I’LL CRACK YOU LIKE AN EGG!”

Joker’s eyes widened as she bared her teeth, then she fell into a convulsive fit of laughter, holding her stomach and falling back onto the table. Legs kicking in the air, her head rolled from side to side in amusement. It took her a good few minutes to calm down, and when she did everyone, save for Harley, looked even more mortified. Everyone knew Joker was mad, but to have her laugh at having someone clobbered to death in full view--how bad was she?

Wiping away a tear with her pinky, Joker let out a deep sigh. “Egg, haha, funny. Very funny, Harley.

“NOW THEN, BACK TO BUSINESS! Can you do it or can you not? I know you’re used to this kind of surgery, doc. You’ve been doing it for a while now! IN FACT, I wanted to have it done by you long ago before I became… well, you know?”

The doctor hesitated before finishing. “Joker?” 

Confused, the Clown Princess quirked her eyebrow. “‘Poor,’ the answer was ‘poor,’ doctor. You may be good at cutting into flesh, but you’re terrible at quizzes. I’m sorry, Harley, but he won’t be going for the fridge.”

The harlequin sighed deeply as she crossed something off that clipboard she had been carrying. Was this a secret code? Did this all mean something? The captives were nervous; clearly, their lives meant nothing to these people, so either they did a good job or else.

“Now then, let’s get started shall we!” Joker dropped flat on the table and smiled in anticipation. The captives all glanced at one another, giving quick nods that they had to do this right because any failure meant their deaths. As everyone got to their station and familiarized themselves with the abundance of stolen equipment, one nurse began to panic. He hesitantly spoke out. “Uh, J-Joker, ma’am, there’s no anesthesia here.”

“Smart boy!” Joker responded, sticking up her thumb without sitting up. “I don’t need any of that stuff, you know what they say, laughter is the best medicine! NOW WHO'S UP FOR SNAKES AND LADDERS! HAHAHAHA!” 

\- - -

The doors to the surgical room were thrown open. A familiar, darkly clad figure entered the room, scowling and ready to fight--but all he found was Joker laying on a table, holding up a book she was very intently reading. Harley stood by her side, and a terrified man cowered in the corner. 

It took Joker a moment to actually acknowledge the caped crusader, but when she did, she smiled brightly. “BATS, OL’ BUDDY, OL’ PAL! You came to visit little old me after my surgery, a true friend you are!” With a flick of her wrist, she threw the book at the captive, who winced in terror as the book fell harmlessly to the ground.

“So, what’d you bring me? Flowers? A balloon? OH! A bat-plushie!” 

Any other guesses were cut off as Batman strode over, knocking aside equipment and lashing out with one quick elbow thrust to knock Harley aside. Both hands gripping Joker by the collar as he raised her up into the air. “The staff, where are they?” 

Joker squirmed in the air, a big smile on her face as she struggled to get some words out. “W-What not even a card? Harsh!” 

“Enough joking around, clown! Where are they!” He shook her around a few more times, but all she did was laugh. It was never that simple. 

“In the basement, of course! All waiting for you to rescue them! I’m very thankful you didn’t come rushing in mid-surgery, though! Man, that was something alright. That guy over there in the corner? He messed up… Hahahaha, you know I hate it when people mess up!”

Batman eyed the collar around his neck. The cowl analyzed it within seconds, and he turned back to Joker. “A bomb collar? How do I get it off?” 

Joker merely smiled which rewarded her with being thrown onto the ground, and Harley who had just gotten back up to rush over to her side. “Missus J!”

“Answer me, clown, before someone gets hurt!” Punching a fist into an open palm, Batman made his willingness to beat answers from Joker clear. 

Even like this, Joker merely laughed at the response. ”You mean like this?” Reaching under the gown, she pulled out a detonator, and in the same heartbeat, she pressed the button before chucking it at the ground. Batman could only turn in horror to watch as the collar popped off and with a contained, yet loud explosion, the man’s head blew clean off, his body slumping down beside the other beaten corpse.

Batman made his way over to Joker. Again, he kicked Harley aside and put his boot against the clown’s throat. “The other detonators where are they?!” 

Joker tried to wriggle away Batman’s boot so she could respond. “Look, I only had two phallic objects under this gown: one is on the floor there and the other is in the bin--ahahaha!”    
  
As Batman didn’t crack any other expression, Joker’s laughter died down, furrowing her own brow. “Well, I think it’s funny, and it’s regarding MY genitals so there... The other detonators are in the basement along with the people you’re looking for--BUT! Everything’s tied up to a clockwork mechanism. You have...I don’t actually know how long. There’s no clock in here, and I’ve been laying for quite a while!”

Batman exhaled sharply through his nose and glared as Joker pulled his boot away. “You won’t make it far enough to escape.” 

The woman bared her teeth once more. “We’ll see about that, Bats!” She put two fingers in her mouth and let out a sharp whistle. “Better hurry! Those poor terrified doctors might not make it out alive if you don’t! Who’s it going to be: me or the good people of Gotham!” 

To the sound of her laughter, several doors in the building were thrown open, revealing more and more goons running into the room. They took aim at Batman, who lunged forward and knocked one to the ground. He didn’t have to think twice about that question even if it frustrated him.   
  
“Harleen, darling, I think that’s our cue!”

Harley forced herself upright and scooped up Joker with surprising ease, leaving behind the clipboard as she turned and fled through the opposite door. “How are you holding up, Puddin’?”

Joker pulled up her shoulders as they left the room. By the other door, a wheelchair waited, and in it, Harley gently placed down the clown before pushing her towards the back entrance. 

“I feel pretty alright! Service was dreadful though, I thought you were supposed to get ice cream afterward!”

“Don’t worry, Puddin’, I’ll get you some ice cream.” 

Harley wheeled Joker up into a waiting ambulance. The door was sealed up, sirens put on, and they drove off and away from the scene just as several police cars arrived at it. 

Inside, Joker began smiling less and less as the vehicle began to shake. Harley looked at her with concern, kneeling down to ask, “Puddin’? Puddin’, are you alright?” 

A very forced chuckle escaped Joker as she shook her head. Tears ran down her face as she bared her teeth in a smile. “Oho! This really, REALLY hurts! HAHAHAHA!”

  
Harley leaned forward to embrace the clown as she furrowed her brow. “Don’t worry, Missus J, I’ll take real good care of you. In a few months, you’ll be as good as new! We’ll have that celebration you wanted, too! Since you got your wish and all!”   
  
“So just a little more, Missus J. Keep smiling!” Harley did her best to be encouraging, but it was clearly weighing on Joker who gritted her teeth in a pained grin.    
  


\- - -

“Batman.” The commissioner appeared behind the man. “The other captives were found in the basement. Doctor Hunt mentioned that after the surgery was done they were shepherded down into a room, had their collars removed, and were simply told to wait there for someone to come let them out.”

The vigilante reached down to pick up the clipboard that Harley had discarded. The names of those kidnapped were listed with two crossed out and a little note written down beside each. “Says here that the two people that got killed both did something to offend the Joker.” 

The commissioner pulled a face at the gruesome scene on the floor. “Doctor Hunt said something similar to that effect. The beaten woman there insulted Joker, and the other seemed to have made a mistake during surgery. He’s willing to testify in great detail about what happened and I…I think you need to hear this, too.”

Batman handed the clipboard to Gordon before walking past him towards the exit. The commissioner followed for a few steps, keeping the conversation going even as Batman was leaving the scene. “Seems like there’s something we didn’t know about the Joker.”

“If it doesn’t help me stop her, then I don’t care about her details.”

Once outside, Batman paced away from the building, placing fingers against his cowl. “Alfred. I have an update on the situation with Joker.”   
  
_ ’Sir?’ _   
  
“She’ll be out of commission for a while.” 


End file.
